It’s been nearly five years since the original post in this series was published on September 2, 2019. It chronicled my departure from all social media platforms after many conversations with friends and colleagues and a viewing of The Great Hack, a Netflix documentary about Cambridge Analytica and its relationship with Facebook. The second post was published on January 1, 2020. That post was a follow-up on how it felt to be free from social media for a few months.
Ten weeks later, of course, everything changed.
To avoid spending the next several minutes selling you on some over dramatic suspense about whether or not I’m still free from social media, the answer is no. I reconnected to some social media in September 2021, about two years after I began my full detox documented in those previous posts. Then who cares? Frankly, I’m not sure. But if you’re curious, feel free to keep on reading.
An Interesting Conflict
I’ve always been a fairly moderate person when it comes to culture. As much as I’ve appreciated and desired to participate in extremes like punk rock, political activism, or even bungee jumping, I never felt like I belonged out on the edges of culture. I’ve never felt comfortable as a clean cut stiff either. I’m more of a middle-of-the-road kinda guy who leans in different directions depending on the context.
Now when it comes to health and well being, I’ve had to be extreme. I learned the hard way that I have an addictive personality. I was a heavy smoker and an alcoholic and had to work really hard to quit both vices completely. I’ve struggled with food and my weight and have had to frequently go on restrictive diets to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Fortunately, I know not to try things that are known to be addictive, because if my brain takes too much of a liking to those things, then it’s going to be a problem.
I found that social media created an interesting conflict for me. By design social media is an addictive substance, constantly enhanced to keep its users hooked and using. Not unlike cigarettes and alcohol, the makers of social media turn a blind eye to the dangers that their products create for society and the health of their individual users. This is a huge red flag for me, and a driving force behind my detoxing from it in the first place.
On the other hand, over the past twenty years social media has become such an integral part of our culture, not just for the social connections and cat videos, but for the dissemination of information for better, or for far far worse. Our political leaders use it to publish official statements that affect our lives. Our public institutions like police departments and local governments use it to share important announcements about things happening in the community, sometimes extremely important and time sensitive things. Schools, businesses, and news organizations are all using social media to spread important information in a timely manner.
As a result, social media can’t be only analogous to cigarettes, booze and slot machines. Its cultural importance is actually… important. I don’t like that it is, but it is. To be completely free of any and all social media in these times is a cultural extreme, a self-inflicted inconvenience, maybe a little more like being a vegan than being a recovered alcoholic. Is it possible to live a very happy life without any social media? Of course it is. It’s also absolutely possible to live a very happy life subscribing to any number of culturally extreme lifestyles. The Amish have done it for centuries. I’m just not a guy who wants to live in a cultural extreme.
For me to reconcile these two ideas (social media as an addictive substance and social media as an important communication tool), I needed to shift my thinking about it. Instead of seeing it as a harmful substance that I should avoid at all cost (i.e. cigarettes) I needed to shift it to something that I have to have to an extent, but need to control (i.e. food). I needed to create a diet of social media that would give me enough sustenance to participate in my community and feel connected to what’s going on, but keep my mental health in check. I believe that I’ve been able to do that for the past three years.
The Social Media Diet
Just like a food diet, I’ve had to set restrictions on what I can consume and how often. Since September 2021, I’ve maintained a presence on two social media platforms, Instagram and LinkedIn. They seemed the most logical and non-toxic choices to accomplish my goals of staying connected with my local community, finding news and information about my favorite musicians and artists, and building a professional network to help grow my businesses. I’m intentionally staying away from the greasy fast food cesspool of Facebook and X and have no interest in the empty calorie fluff of platforms like TikTok.
For an old guy like me who needs a lot of fiber and protein, with the occasional “dessert to share”, LinkedIn and Instagram have been just fine. They get the job done, but they’re bland enough that after a full plate, it’s not too hard to pass on seconds.
Conclusion
Being culturally moderate and exercising moderation when it comes to addictive substances are two completely different things. I’m culturally moderate, which means I don’t want to be completely cut off from society, professing some kind of moral high ground. At the same time I really struggle with moderate consumption around things that are designed to be addictive. This makes my relationship with social media as challenging as my relationship with food; a relationship in which I need to exercise discipline or it can get away from me and take me to a bad place.
I don’t like being a product instead of a customer. I wish it didn’t need to be that way. So I limit the time that I spend being the product as best I can, and when I do have to be the product to engage, I try to be the shittiest product in the world. Although, I have to admit, I’m a sucker for Instagram ads and it drives me fucking crazy.